Feb 8, 2012
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Internet World… I feel like shit. I’ve been really mean and lashing out to my friends lately and I really don’t want to lose them. This happens every year around my birthday… I just lose it. Something in my brain goes kaput! And that’s the end of all the hard work I put into my personal relationships.

I really don’t mean to do it and I feel terrible for doing so. I’ve been gradually getting more and more stressed in the past month and I feel like my bitchiness is now rearing its ugly head. But I care about them so, so much and I’d do anything for them. I don’t want to hurt them or push them away; I just can’t cope with everything that’s going on right now.

With Prom and school and transferring schools and missing my country/culture/mom and dealing with 2 breakups— its just a little too much right now. And as much as I try, I can’t be nice Paula. And I’ve apologized to them but I just want them to know how much I care about them and I want to go back to being my normal self, not this crazy temperamental bitch.

Fuck! Its really not a big deal, I just have to try harder. They’re all going through some tough times and they deserve/need their friends’ love and support right now. They matter. So chill the fuck out, Paula and push through it.

About
Pau-la-isms:
21ish. Frequent failure at relationships and all things love-related. Cultural Anthropology enthusiast. Curses in spanish frequently. Spends way too much time Tumbling & Facebooking. Thinks Betty is better than Veronica, any day. Subscribe via RSS.